Random Thoughts

So I dated this guy for a short time. He was really sweet and everything but I couldn't do it for numerous reasons. It's not like I ever said hey I don't want to date you anymore I just stop talking to him and responding to texts and calls. I'm really fucking awful.  Anyway it's been almost two months since we talked and I just got a text from him. The text was in code but he basically said hey tell me if you ever want to have sex again. I'm a little appalled. Today I was literally thinking man I should try and get laid soon. The sex with him was really great, like the best I ever had but lol no man no. Is this karma universe?

I finally get to see a therapist tomorrow.

I went to physical therapy today and it was weird. It was more of an introduction than anything. They did some electric shots to my back.

I saw that attractive guy at the doctor's office in his outside clothes and my god.

I realize I'm in a very conflicting situation. I don't want any boys to talk to me but I want to get laid. Is this possible?

Why do most guys have horrible style? It's discomforting. I remember I went on a date with a guy and he was wearing light blue plaid shorts, a dark blue shirt, a mainly blue Bears hat (The Bears are who we thought they were!) and black Nikes with a blue swoosh. One time my ex boyfriend and friends went to Venice beach for the day and he was wearing a brown shirt with mainly red but multi colored lines plaid shorts. I was horrified. I saw this bartender and he is so beautiful. He has that Hitler youth haircut but it looked super good on him. He has a jawline that could cut fucking marble. His eyes is a nice honey brown and he is naturally super tan. I looked at his pants and shoes and it just made me sad. I couldn't hate too much because he was at work and when I served I didn't use my nice clothes for obvious reasons but why didn't this fool have non-slips on? Anyway style is important to me, it's not a deal breaker but damn.

I hate boys but I can't live without them. They are my biggest weakness.