Random Thoughts

I feel very confused but empty at the same time.

I got asked on a date and still amused that anyone would like my crazy ass.

I made my ex a little upset yesterday because I admitted to dating other people after him. Like what did you expect?

I'm always exhausted and never sleep well. It's starting to interfere with my life.

I went out with my coworkers the other night and I'm have a strange feeling that one of them has a little crush on me. He called me later that night and asked me if I would have sex with him. Yikes!

There are some new people at work and one of them is a cutie and it makes me want to die.

I'm very dramatic today if you couldn't tell.

Excerpts of drunk wine journaling

"Sometimes, I lie to myself often, I think about the molding San Francisco apartment bathroom we stood naked in the shower. Minimal sunlight peaking out of the small window. Shining directly on our faces. Your doe brown eyes taking everything it can from me."

"I don't know what to do. You don't seem like you know either. Maybe it's better that way."

"I don't know why you can't seem to escape my mind when everyone else does."

"Tears welt in my eyes for reason I couldn't explain. A lie, I continue to keep."

Random Thoughts

-Why do older people always want to know if your dating a person and if not why? How do I respond to them? Like I wish I could say oh I'm a slut that's why!

-I have this weird feeling that I'm aromatic and I really haven't been in love before. I took a deep look at my last relationship and how I felt for majority of it, yikes is all I have to say.

-I started a new Instagram like I said I would.

-There are some men in my life that I think like me and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking of becoming celibate to be honest. Everytime I tell a friend this they laugh at me.

-I have a crush on someone and I think I might do something about it. Shoot your shot!

-I went to do a little photoshoot with a high school friend. Dude she's like my biggest and only peer role model. She intimates me a little though. I don't know how I can explain it. Maybe it's because I really do look up to her.

-Modeling is so fucking awkward but kinda fun at the same time.

Aren't I just the cutest ting?

Hey guys it's been awhile

My uber driver is making me really uncomfortable. Like I've only slept three hours and I don't want to talk really. Also don't ask me how much I get paid. 

I think I'm calming down a little bit from my party lifestyle than before but here are some things you missed since my hiatus:

I had a one night stand with my best friends roommate which really was quite the experience and extremely unresponsible.

Spilled beer all over my coworkers on New Years (they still love me)

I made out with some random boy in front of my own mother. (The real down fall of my party mode)

I bought a ticket to Nashville and I'm super fucking excited dude.

I want to start super new with social media. I'm more comfortable from

a stranger looking at my art and etc then my own family and friends to be honest.

I think I like my best friend but  he's going through so much so I don't want to be like hey I like you! Making his life more complicated than it is. I'm also a shitty person who doesn't hold feelings for anyone that long and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Also I fucked his roommate.

I'm pretty sure there's a shit more things I would like to say but it's been too long. I'll keep ya updated.