Random Thoughts

Okay so I went out with my coworker last Friday and I had a good time. We grabbed a few drinks and went to a view spot then ended up making out. I knew I was going to be weird at work because that's just how I am. He told a few of my coworkers about it and I don't know the whole thing makes me feel a little uneasy. I get jaded when I like someone and so I've been thinking a lot and there's a lot of things about him that bothers me but I think it's just me talking myself out of it. I always do that because I'm scared of commitment and I'm scared when guys like me and want to get to know me. Lol like leave me alone. I'm going to try and not be an asshole about this but ya know I suck.

Okay so I finished the new season of OITNB and that show is fucked up. It's entertaining, sure but a lot of it's not necessary to "teach a lesson." I don't want to give too much and spoil it but my main issue is they try to make you feel sympathetic to a fucking rapist and that's not okay considering how fucked up rape culture is. It's awful.

I went to dinner with my dad and his girlfriend on Father's Day. I hate to say it but I really like my Dad's girlfriend. She's super cool and we have a lot of the same beliefs. It makes me feel bad that I like her considering how they got together but I can't be bitter because of my mom. My mom is so bitter and holds grudges and I don't want to live like that. Although I'm still very mad at her and haven't talked to her in a week and I don't plan to  talk to her anytime soon.

My sleep schedule is so fucked up and I'm like dying at work because I have to wake up so early but I can't go to sleep until like 2-3.

All I've been eating is bread and peanut butter. I haven't had much of an appetite. I've been super stress lately about my love life and my future. 

I've been thinking about finally getting a license and get a RV or just buying a tiny home in Oregon or Tennessee and live like a nomad for the rest of my life.